The Talk

     As the parents of two young girls, the subject of this blog is very important to me. My oldest daughter is 9 years of age, and I have often contemplated how to handle the "birds and the bees" discussion with her. I know soon her friends will be starting to discuss the subject and I would prefer to give her sound information before she hears various stories from her peers. As a Catholic family, I believe abstaining from sex until marriage to be the right thing to do. However, I am not naive, as I was once a teenager myself. I would like my daughters to be prepared with accurate information so they can make an informed decision about their own best interests for their bodies, minds and souls.
I found a book I found very helpful written specifically for teens thinking about becoming sexually active. The book is Pure Love by Jason Evert, and I used allot of his viewpoints when writing this dialogue. I bought a copy to give my daughter for when she is ready to have some difficult questions answered.

Mom: " I know that your friends must be starting to talk about sex. Are there any questions that you would like to ask?"
Child: " No"
Mom: "I know that it's embarrassing to talk about this with your mom, but no matter what you say I won't laugh or get upset. I got a book for you called Pure Love. This book is discusses some things you need to think about before you have sex with someone. You know that I feel the best thing is to wait for sex until you are married, right?
Child: "Yes, but no one does that any more."
Mom: " I know that many of your friends will have sex in high school and that is their decision but you have to do what is best for you and your body."
Child: "I know."
Mom: " You know that by having sex, you open up a whole new set of feelings as well as possible problems. Of course you can get pregnant or STD from sex but even more important is how it may affect your attitude toward love and intimacy and your relationships. A lot of people think using sex to get or hold on to a boyfriend is the only option. But if the man values you he will want to do what is the best for you."
Child: " What if we both want to do it?"
Mom: "Once sex is involved in the relationship it often forces everything else aside. You start worshipping each other's bodies rather than the person inside. True love is something that is meant to last forever and to be shared between a husband and a wife, and giving each other the gift of sex is the ultimate sign of your love for each other."
Child: "I don't know if I can wait until I get married."
Mom: " It can be hard. What I want you to do is to think about what is important for you. Are you having sex just to keep the guy? Do you really want to have sex? Do you truly love this man? If you have sex what might change in your relationship? What would God want you to do?"
If you still decide to have sex, use protection. Always use a condom and tell me when you decide so we can start you an birth control pills. I want you to wait, but it's important that you protect yourself if you decide to have sex."
Child: " Well don't worry, I don't even have a boyfriend."
Mom: "I just want you to know I am here any time you want to talk about it, I won't judge you or get mad. Sex is a big step and you really need to think about it and talk about it if you think you are ready."
Child: "OK, thanks, I will let you know if I think it's time."
Mom: "I'm always here for you, and read the book it may answer some questions you haven't even thought about yet."

Reference:
Evert, J. (2008). Pure Love (1st ed.). San Diego, CA: Catholic Answers Press.

The Poverty Epidemic

     I will start this blog by telling you that I count my blessings every day to have been born into a free nation which values individual thought, creativity and determination. As wonderful as our country is, I can't help feeling embarrassed of the staggering statistics I discovered about the state of the nation's poverty level.
     According to the US Census Bureau, 46.2 million Americans live in poverty which is an increase of 2.6 million in only 12 months. Among those most affected are the children living in poverty. The mother featured in the documentary Unnatural Causes represents a huge portion of parents, single or married, who are just trying to feed their children, give them clothes on their back and shelter over their head. When she said "somethin's goin' to lose so that something else can be gained," I can't help but feel she is sacrificing her health for her children to be able to eat. I was blessed to be raised in a home with food always on the table and no threat of going hungry. Without adequate nutrition, rest and basic human needs how can these children grow up to help us turn poverty into history?
     Much of the information I researched when preparing for this blog pointed at the welfare reform law passed in 1996. 1996! For sixteen years our government has upheld this law which left many families unprotected when the political downturn began. Now the ball is rolling, how can our nation dig itself out of this pit? I wish I had the answer.